Sunday, August 29, 2010

Healing Time

July 4th I was released from the hospital. I had told Kevin and Mom that I didn't want to see anything baby related when I got home from the hospital. Kevin's mom and her friend Marci had gone to the house and cleaned everything and had everything perfect when we got home. All the baby stuff around the house was placed in the nursery and the doors were shut. We were finally home, but it was so empty.

We had been so strong for the past few months and had so much faith, unbelievable faith. With losing each baby, we just kept the faith that the others would be fine. We certainly believed Emily would be strong and make it. It was very hard for us to understand why things turned out the way they did. We were surrounded by friends and family offering support and trying to offer encouragment for us. We were devastated but were trying to move on and understand. I don't remember a lot about healing. I just know I was an emotional wreck. I tried to just deal with things. I am not sure how long it was before I was able to go into the nursery. It was unfinished and full of all the things we had accumulated for the babies. I do remember just sitting in the rocking chair in their room and just pouring tears.

We were mad and didn't understand. My mom was devastated also. I hadn't know until after we lost Emily, but she left God had sent her a message that she needed to fast. She had been fasting for I think 20 something days out of her 30 day fast. She had no food and just water. I couldn't believe she had done that. She felt let down and didn't understand because she just knew that her fasting was standing in faith for Emily and I to be ok. We were all heartbroken. My aunt was telling her that maybe the message God had for her to fast was to save me. Wow, that really made me think. I could have died too. Maybe Mom's faith saved me. We will never know. I was understandably having a much harder time dealing with this loss than I did with our 1st miscarriage. I remember praying to God after we lost the 1st baby that if it wasn't meant for us to have a baby that he please not let me get pregnant again and the fertility medicines not work. Then we got pregnant with the quads and it turned out the way it did and I was angry because I had remembered me asking him not to let me go through that pain again. It was hard for us to imagine having faith ever again after having so much faith with this pregnancy and things still turning out the way they did.A month after we lost the quads, it just seemed like everything continued to crash down on us. Kevin got laid off from his job at Barbers and we had a leak from our air conditioner in the attic and the ceiling fell down. Things were literally falling all around us. All I wanted to do was sleep to numb the pain.

As I mentioned earlier, my baby shower had already been scheduled. Jessica let me know that she and my other hostesses decided to have a get together the day they had originally planned my baby shower. They wanted to make that day special for us and show love and support for us. They took all the money they had accumulated for the baby shower and gave it to us as a token of love. They wanted us to get away and take a trip or do something to try and help us through the process. That touched my heart and it really was something we needed.

At this point I would have been 6 months pregnant and I was having a hard time dealing with things. Everything happened so extremely fast and went straight downhill like a roller coaster. I went for my checkup on August 2nd and was released to go back to work on August 16th. I was terrified to go back to work without being pregnant. I was so scared because the last time I was at my desk, my water broke. I knew that to the world I was no longer pregnant, but for me I was forever changed. I was greeted back at work with a lot of hugs and encouraging words and a lot of tears too. I had told Kathleen to please let everyone know that I didn't want them to ask a lot of questions and I didn't really want to talk about things. Just to please pray for us and be there. I just felt alone, no matter what everyone tried to do for us. I had no idea what I was suppost to do and how I could move on.

The Hardest Part Was Yet to Come

So, as you can imagine I was extremely sad and totally exhausted. Everything was happening so fast and we were just having to go with the flow and not think about things. I couldn't think long term or rationally or how I needed to do things for my long term benefit. I was living in the moment and in a whirlwind. I stayed in the hospital for a few days after the delivery. I was released from the hospital on June 18th, Father's Day. How ironic was that. That wasn't much of a Father's Day for Kevin, but he was definately glad to have me going home.

We started preparing to hopefully find out what our last baby was going to be. I was 18 weeks pregnant now and had one baby remaining from our quads. We knew this baby was going to have to be a fighter and I knew I had to try and be strong for this babys sake. We had my next dr appt on June 20th and we found out we were having a baby girl!!!!! After delivering 3 boys, we were shocked that there was a girl in the mix. We called them, A, B, C, and D from the sonogram pictures so we could keep track of who was where. So, here SHE WAS, baby D could now be called a she. She was on the top and can you imagine being a girl in there with all those 3 boys. She was probably kicking them like this is my space. We kind of laughed that she was being a princess and wanted her space and now had all the room she needed. Everything looked good and the fluid around her sack looked good also. She had a very strong heartbeat. We were very hopeful for the future. We did a lot of praying and hoping.

By now of course we had already registered because we had MANY friends planning a baby shower. They had been so excited to coordinate a MULTIPLE BABY SHOWER that planning had been going on for a while. So now we were down to one, a baby girl, so the shower plans were adjusted to cater to her. My baby shower was scheduled for July 29th.

My next dr appointment was scheduled for June 29th at 20 weeks. Early that morning around 12:30 am, I went to the bathroom and passed a large blood clot. We went to the hospital and they were not sure if I had possibly tried passing on of the placentas from the other babies or not. After doing an ultrasound, they discovered the fluid around the baby was really low. Her heartbeat was still really strong and everything else looked ok except for the fluid level. They said I could go home if I wanted and just follow up with Dr Kimberlyn later that day for my appointment at 2 pm . We decided to go home and pack our bags because we were told we would probably be admitted. We decided to get a few last hours of rest because we were going to need it.

About 12:30 that afternoon I was getting ready for my appointment and I started bleeding heavily. We called the dr office and they told us to go straight to the hospital. The next few days kind of ran together. When I arrived at the hospital, our baby girl was still in my cervix, so she wasn't trying to deliver. Her heartbeat was very strong. Things were very optimistic and we just kept praying because our baby girl was fighting so hard. Seeing that she was only 20 weeks, we needed her to hold on a few more weeks for her to be viable outside the womb. At 23-25 weeks they told us the baby goes through such a huge growth spurt that she would have a much better chance for her lungs to develop if she could make it until then. At 28 weeks she would have a 90% viability rate. They put me in the hospital. Mom and Kevin stayed with me. I woke up around 2:15 and was very uncomfortable. I started having mild stomach cramps that developed into severe stomach cramps in a matter of 30 minutes. Turns out I was in labor. I never had contractions with any of them, just cramping. I went to the bathroom because I felt blood and I started bleeding uncontrollably and a lot of it. Kevin was terrified and I had never seen so much blood in my life. We called the nurses in and they put a large pad under me in the bed. I kept passing blood clots and bleeding continuously. I was hemorraging. The dr kept saying "We have to get this bleeding under control" in a very serious concerned voice. So, this began natural labor, full throttle. I don't remember a whole lot because I was delirious. My mom and Kevin had no idea what was going on. All they saw was their wife/daughter in pain and bleeding uncontrollably and there was nothing they could do, or the dr at that point. They were all trying to get the bleeding under control. At some point I was screaming unbelievably. Anyone who has gone through natural chilbirth with no pain medicine I guess can understand. I think in some way I was just trying to deal and I was crazy!!!! I remember thinking to myself afterwards I felt so sorry for anyone who might have been in the rooms beside me because I was that loud. At some point they decided to move me to labor and delivery. I was still bleeding and they called in Dr Kimberlyn into the hospital just for me because no one could stop the bleeding. The nurses were trying to find a vein to stick me so they could give me the IV for an epidural. They tried both arms over and over again. Nurses on both sides, sticking me over and over again. All while I am still passing blood clots and in excrutiating pain. They gave me 4 shots of demerol to help with the pain and it didn't phase me. I remember at some point the tv turning on because I was squeezing the bed rails so hard that I turned the tv on. I don't even think my hand was on the remote! At some point they had Mom and Kevin step outside when they were trying to do the epidural. They never were able to stick me, so they let Mom and Kevin come back in. They were fighting to get back in there with me. I remember Dr Kimberlyn saying "She can't keep bleeding like this" at some point. Once they did come back in, it didn't take long and I delivered our baby girl, Emily Rebecca Lloyd around 5:20 am. She was still in her sack, so the only reason I delivered her was because I was contracting so bad and passing those blood clots. She hadn't reached viability, so she didn't make it. My body was trying to get rid of the pregnancy and all the remnants from the other babies placentas, etc. After I delivered Emily, I was still in excrutiating pain. I passed a huge blood clot, Emily's placenta, whatever and instantly the pain stopped and the bleeding stopped. All I remember was Dr Kimberlyn saying, it finally stopped. She meant I wasn't bleeding anymore. I had lost so much blood and I was past exhaustion. I think the Demerol shots finally kicked in because I was knocked out. I do not remember much between then and the point when they brought Emily in for us to see her. By that point Daddy had arrived at the hospital, so Kevin and I, Mom and Dad were there to see our baby girl for the first time.

Emily weighed 12 ounces and was 9 1/2 inches long. I remember how beautiful she looked. She was in a pink gown and laying in a crocheted pink blanket. I remember Daddy looking at her and saying "Oh goodness". She was obviously much more developed than all the boys. She was beautiful and looked like a little miniature baby doll. I couldn't believe how different she looked. Her features were all developed and she just looked like a small baby. The top of her head was VERY dark, so I tell Kevin I think she would have had brown hair like me. She looked like an angel. I remember her mouth being open and I could move her lips. Her little fingers also wrapped around my finger like it was holding on and I will never forget that.  We of course all cried and held her. I told Kevin at least I knew that we made beautiful children. I was so glad we were able to hold all of our children and have memory boxes for them. That was and will always be very special to me!! Losing Emily was the hardest for me. Not only because it was the end of my quad pregnancy, but she was my only girl. I had always pictured myself having a girl and she and I had this bond that I just can't explain.

The next thing I remember was being wheeled all the way across the hospital to the area where women are who are recovering from women's surgery. That was the longest wheelchair ride I have ever had. I was devastated and I can't describe that journey in the wheelchair and the rush of feelings that were going through me. I felt like I was being cast aside, like I wasn't a Mommy. I wasn't with those other moms who had just had their children. The rest of that day and that night was more emotional than I could ever explain. Kevin of course stayed the night with me and I was a basketcase. I couldn't sleep and they finally had to give me something to make me sleep because I was crying hysterically. I was so tired from all the blood loss. My blood count was 20 when normal is around 30. They gave me 2 pints of blood the next day and that was the minimum they wanted to give me. I could and might have needed to get more. They told me it would take me a while for my energy to get back to normal because of the amount of blood loss that I had.

The one thing I remember most before leaving the hospital was celebrating 4th of July weekend in the hospital with Kevin and my mom and dad. I guess as Daddy's way on bringing comfort to me he went and bought Dreamland BBQ for us and brought to the hospital. The 4 of us sat there and ate and it was just nice to have my family there. I was able to leave and go home on July 4th. I couldn't be more relieved to be leaving that hospital!!!!!

Time for Twins

On Wednesday morning, June 14th Kevin went back to work for the 1st day since our delivery. He was working at Barbers, so he left out really early that morning around 2:30. Around 3:00 that morning I woke up with sharp back pains and stomach pains. Over 30 minutes it got a lot worse. I had been having problems being constipated, but I really thought that was all it was so I tried going to the bathroom. I delivered our baby right there in the bathroom. I was in shock and trauma and all I did was scream for about 5 minutes and I remember feeling so sad that you were delivered and that I didn't know the signs enough to know to go to the hospital. I didn't know if I should cut the cord or not and was in such shock I didn't think about it. I finally made it into our room and called Kevin and told him what happened. He called his mom to come get me and take me to the hospital. He had already gotten in his work truck, so he was going to meet us. She picked me up and we headed to the hospital. My mom and dad met us at the emergency room also. Our 2nd baby was another boy. We named him Christian David Lloyd. We chose David after my Papaw. They brought him in for us to see him and he was wearing a white gown with a blue blanket behind him. He was a little more developed than his brother, but not much. He looked at peace also. His body was really red, his eyes still swollen shut and his nose and mouth were really about to start showing good. We now had two boys and two babies left.

Later that night Daddy's friend Tim came to visit us at the hospital. While he was visiting, I felt fluid start to leak out of me. I knew something was wrong, so I told Kevin and the nurse came in to check me. They took me to labor and delivery because they thought I might be getting ready to deliver. Sure enough I was having membrane rupture again, but the baby hadn't dropped yet so they took me back to my room. I was extremely sad all day the next day because I knew what was happening and I knew it wouldn't be long before I had to go through this again. That day someone from the church came and prayed with my mom and I. Kevin had gone home to get some bags together and get a shower. Later that evening, July 15th, I went to the restroom and I noticed a colored discharge and I had seen that once before. I called the nurse and told her what I had experienced and that I knew something was happening. She didn't think so, but she checked me and sure enough I was getting ready to deliver again. So, back to labor and delivery I went. This time was different and scary and a waiting game. I had a lot of time to think about things even in the midst of all the chaos. Jessica had come to visit, right in the middle of all of this. I remember her bringing me a cookie bouquet and saying "I don't think this is going to help"! Bless her heart, she was pregnant at the time too and it was too much for her to stay in there with me. We of course didn't want her to be overly emotional and risk her baby either. So, everyone waited outside except for Kevin and I. I could feel the baby dropping and the doctors had come in and advised me this was likely to continue to happen and that next time it might be worse. They wanted Kevin and I to make a decision to end the pregnancy and induce labor for the remaining baby. I remember thinking to myself, they CAN NOT be asking me this right now in the middle of all of this. Are they serious???? I remember holding the baby in as we tried to decide what to do. We really struggled and felt so emotionally drained and exhausted. We both cried and cried and we didn't know what to do anymore. It would be the hardest decision we would ever have to make. After a quick and careful discussion we decided to give the last baby a chance also as we had done with all the other babies. I knew after making this decision it was time to deliver and with two pushes we delivered another boy at 5:20 pm on June 15th. We named him Kody Austin Lloyd.

Kody was much bigger than the other boys and much more developed. Kody weighed 6 oz and was 8 inches long. He was the length of my arm between my wrist and elbom. We were amazed and the difference between you and his brothers and just being one day apart in delivery from our second son. The top of his head was dark, so we could tell his hair was about to start coming in. His hands and toes were also apart and not webbed. His nose and mouth were much more distinct and his lips weren't fused together. I remember how big his thighs were and I was like he would have been our football player! He was precious! We figured that you and Christian had to be the identical twins and that you probably got most of the nourishment because you shared the same placenta. He was our fighter, we found out the next day that he actually tried to take a breath when he was delivered, but your lungs just weren't ready to work yet. We had to sign the papers for the death certificate. He was considered stillborn because he was alive and tried to breathe but couldn't. That broke my heart!

It's a Boy- Jacob Matthew Lloyd

On May 31, 2006 at 16 weeks, I was sitting at work and my water broke. I didn't know what to do. I called a friend who had a baby and she was like, you could have just peed on yourself. So, I was thinking well yeah with 4 babies maybe so. But my seat and pants were soaked, so of course I called the dr and they told me to come straight to the office. I met Kevin and we went to the dr together. That was a scary drive and I was extremely nervous. We got to the dr office and Dr Robinett did an ultrasound. It confirmed the fluid from Baby A was extremely low. He knew immediately this meant bedrest and knew this had quickly become a much more complicated pregnancy that had all of us at risk. He made a phone call and in just a few minutes I was on my way to UAB Hospital. Dr Robinett felt I needed care beyond what he could give me considering the severity of things, so I was transferred to the Maternal Fetal Medicine Clinic at UAB. Also called the MFM clinic.
I was admitted to UAB for observation and stayed overnight. The fluid stayed about the same and we were to think of it like a water balloon that had a hole in it and the water being like the fluid coming out of the sac around Baby A. There was hope that maybe with bedrest the hole in the sac would correct itself and the baby would still be ok, even with low fluid. So, on Sunday the 1st I was sent home to start bedrest. Monday my two best friends came to visit me and loaded me up with magazines and things to keep me busy for my bedrest. Bedrest got old really quick!! I was very uncomfortable laying in the bed, so my mom bought us a mattress pad for the bed. That helped a lot. I also had a snuggle pillow that is suppost to contour to your body and help you rest better. Not really!

My 10 year high school reunion was taking place on June 3rd and I was at home on bedrest. My friends took a card and a lot of my classmates signed it and wished me the best. I hated to miss seeing everyone, but considering everyone understood. On June 5th, Karen from Dr Steinkampf's office that had been taking care of me during our treatments and all called to check on me. That night I had a restless night and couldn't sleep very well. Maybe subconsciously I knew what was about to happen.

On Wednesday, June 7th, I went to the bathroom before bed around 10 pm and I felt something sticking out of me. I wasn't sure if it was a body part of one of the babies or what, so I was terrified! We of course headed straight to the hospital. They thoguht it might be part of the umbilical card or membranes for the placenta, so they sent me back home because I had a dr appt later that afternoon. I was getting ready for my appointment and I went to the restroom I saw nothing but blood and I could feel a small foot sticking out of me. We rushed to the ER and discover the baby was trying to deliver itself. It had been a tough week since my water broke and Baby A fought hard, but it wasn't enough. It only took about 30 minutes and one push to deliver the baby. On June 8th around 1:15 pm, Dr Kimberlyn delivered our 1st baby at the beginning of my 17th week of pregnancy. It was a boy, our 1st son, and we named him Jacob Matthew Lloyd. He weighed 4.5 ounces and was 7 inches long. Of course his lungs were no where near developed enough for survival. Everything happened so fast. We didn't have a camera or anything, but the staff at UAB took pictures of him for us and brought him in for me to see him and hold him and spend some time with him. He was dressed in a white gown and was laying in a baby basket on a crocheted blue blanket. I knew you were at peace. Memaw, Papaw, and Grandma were there with me and were able to hold you and see you. Everything happened so fast and I can't remember a lot of my emotions but I cried and cried. We were given a memory box with his clothes that he was wearing and the blanket. We also had pictures of him that were taken by the nurses. We also had a certificate with his picture and his handprints and footprints. His fingers and toes were still webbed, so they weren't separated yet. His footprint was about the size of my thumbnail as well as his hands. He was very red and his eyelids and lips were still fused together. You didn't have hair yet either. I came home on Monday June 12th from the hospital and Kevin and I went through the memory box for the 1st time and had some quiet time.

Making Preparations for 4 Babies

So, the first thing we have to do is tell our families. Everyone was of course overly excited but shocked. The first 3 months were a whirlwind. Kevin's Granny passed away in April after we found out in March we were expecting the quads, so most of the family on Kevin's side we were able to tell when we travelled to Maryland for the funeral. I do remember that being the longest, hardest trip, physically. I was doing ok physically, but that trip we had to stop every 2 hours and rest. The dr had cleared me to travel but I had to stop every 2 hours. Needless to say that was a long trip in the car from Alabama to Maryland.

Our emotions were going from shock, to being scared of losing the babies, to worrying about how we were going to provide for 4 babies, supporting 4 babies financially, and knowing that our life as we know it was being turned upside down. We were extremely excited for the anticipation of life with quads!
I had my first regular checkup ultrasound on May 4, 2006 when I was 12 weeks pregnant. I was now seeing Dr Robinett at Brookwood. He told us the babies were growing good and we heard the heartbeats. What a relief! Two of the babies were moving around really good. One looked like it was waving and one of the others was squirming around. We were so excited to see them moving around so much. The dr told me our 1st goal was to make it to 28 weeks which would be around the end of August. He said that is where we wanted to get and that anything over that would be gravy. Of course they didn't expect me to carry 4 babies full term, so we were prepared for an early delivery. He started a progesterone shot once a week to help with preterm labor and at 24 weeks we would plan to start steroid shots to boost the babies lung development in case of an premature delivery. We were preparing to tour the NICU and meet the doctors because of course higher order multiples are expected to come early and have a NICU stay. We left very excited and prepared for what was in store. I had survived the 1st trimester!

Everyone was in full planning mode, making arrangements for these 4 little ones to come into the world. We of course knew I wouldn't be able to work after the babies came along and my mom was planning to quit work to help me also. We were trying to get everything arranged and stocked up for 4 babies. Would we have 4 cribs, 4 carseats, 4 bouncy seats, 4 of everything!!!!! We looked at yard sales, hand me downs, we had collections coming in all over the place for clothing and anything that anyone wanted to donate. Of course my family was like you need an EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER!! We were thinking about any company that we could get some freebies for, anything and everything we could get to help. We picked out a nursery theme, Lazy Day Pooh. It was nice and neutral for boys or girls or both. We painted the room in Froggy Green, which was a really bright green like grass that matched the colors in the bed set. We decided we would just have two cribs and have the babies pair up in one crib each. My cousin gave us a crib, so we had everything ready to start setting up. It wasn't all finished but it was becoming reality quickly as more and more baby stuff started piling up in the house. The room wasn't completely finished yet, but we were making progress. I was now 16 weeks, so 12 more weeks to go until we were safe! We had no idea that in just a few days our whole world would be turned upside down.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Our journey of trying to get pregnant

I have talked about how Kevin and I met, now I can talk about our marriage and all that has come with it.
Kevin and I bought a house in Montevallo. After a year or so of marriage, we started talking about adding onto our family. We started trying and nothing happened. In 1998, unexpected circumstances in his family had us under a lot of stress, so we both quit school because it was just too much to deal with and be in school at the same time. Fast forward over the next few years, we continued to try to have children but nothing ever happened. We finally decided to go and see a fertility specialist. We went through all the tests, both of us, which was stressful enough. We found out the issue was that I wasn't ovulating regularly, so that is what was making it hard to get pregnant. The doctor started me on medication to help me ovulate, Clomid. I took that for several months, increasing my dosage each month. Anyone who has ever tried to get pregnant understands the stress involved with hoping month after month that it worked and you are pregnant. I think we continued this for about 6 months or so before I had enough. I was emotionally and physically drained with keeping up with body temperatures, medicines, wishing and hoping and being let down month after month. So, we took a break.
Over the next few years, we still longed for children. We continued to pray that God
 would bless us with children someday. Of course friends of ours had children by now and we felt like we were the only ones without them. We went through the pain of not being able to have children and how the world around you just has no idea what it is like for someone longing for a baby. I went through the "It will happen one day", "You are just trying to hard", "It will happen when you least expect it". Note, all these things are NOT the things that someone wanting a baby wants or needs to hear. It makes you feel like what you feel is right is wrong.

I struggled a lot of days and didn't understand why it wasn't happening. I mean, what was I doing wrong, why me? I would say that most people would agree that Kevin and I are good people. Why does stuff like this happen to good people? My way of dealing with the pain was to buy something for our baby. Nothing major, just small stuff like a onesie or a small toy or outfit, etc. Something had came across to me a lot about envisioning the things you wanted in your life and placing them in front of you. I set up a little small room in our house and that was our BABY ROOM. I kept anything that I bought in that room and setup a small shelf with baby quilts on it. I had half of it decorated for girls and half decorated for boys. Sounds crazy, but that was my comfort. Something about seeing it in place made me know that one day it would happen. It helped me keep the faith.

Time went by and we thought about going back to see the fertility doctor. By this point the dr we had seen before was no longer at UAB. Time went by and eventually, I came across him. Dr Steinkampf had opened his own practice on 280, Alabama Fertility Specialists, so I felt I was ready to try again. Again, we just picked up where we left off. We tried the highest dosage of Clomid I think one time before we decided to do something else. We talked about doing fertility shots using a medicine called Follistim. Basically I just injected myself daily for about a week with medicine to make me ovulate, meaning produce eggs so I could get pregnant. This of course takes a lot of dr visits to monitor you very careful to make sure the process is going smoothly and you don't need extra injections, etc. These injections were also very expensive, so we were spending about $300 for one round of shots. After the injections, we had 6 eggs that had been produced, so we let nature take it's course from there and we sat and waited to see what happened. We go in for our appointment to check my bloodwork and TADAH, WE WERE PREGNANT! Needless to say we were soooo excited. Karen was the nurse and the dr office whom I had become very close to because I saw her all the time as she monitored my treatments. We scheduled a sonogram and we saw a very tiny heartbeat at 7 weeks. Our little peanut was growing and was alive with a heartbeat. While seeing a fertility specialist, you are watched very carefully, so we had an appointment the next week. At 8 weeks, I went back in the office and there was no heartbeat. Our little peanut was no longer growing and at that point was gone to heaven. We were devastated and heartbroken. Of course we had no idea why this had happened to us.

Time went by and I was finally ready to try again, I don't remember how long, but we tried the shots again since they had been successful before we wanted to stick with what worked. More injections and a repeat of the same process as before and we waited. This time we had 3 eggs generated. Another blood test and the second time WE WERE PREGNANT AGAIN. We felt like yes, this is it, finally. Another scheduled sonogram and we had no idea what we were in for. We had the camera ready, it records, so Kevin was ready to record the sonogram on the camera. The video tape machine on the sonogram machine didn't work, so seeing we didn't have anything recorded for the 1st baby, we wanted this on tape. Karen, the nurse started the sonogram. She started looking around and started seeing sacks with multiple babies. That is right MULTIPLES! Well, I know twins run all over my family and my brother had natural twins, so I wasn't surprised really. She started counting and she asked Kevin if he was recording and he of course said no, even though he was. She said good and he really wasn't sure why. Karen started counting, 1, 2, 3, 4 heartbeats. What????? 4 babies!!!!! I started cackling and laughing because I was thinking how I had prayed that God would give us double for our trouble from our 1st miscarriage. We were ALL believing for that. I had no idea that God would answer both mine and Kevin's prayers and give both of us DOUBLE! Karen called the dr in to let him look at the sonogram. The dr came in and found another sack but no heartbeat, so that baby never developed, but he confirmed we definately had 4 babies living with a heartbeat. The neat thing was that we only had 3 eggs, so one of those sacks must have split and we most likely had a set of identical twins in the mix also. So, I left the office pregnant with 4 babies and a set of identical twins in that mix of 4 babies. The dr of course told me this was a serious pregnancy and when you deal with higher order multiples, you are given the option of selective reduction. Kevin and I of course were like NO WAY! All 4 of those babies were alive and God had given them to us, so it was our job to keep them. We knew he was with us. We had no idea what a quad pregnancy would have in store for us.......

Where Do I Start- I guess with how I met my husband

So, here we are starting 2010, I thought to myself that I would finally start a blog like I have thought about for so long. The problem is where do I start. I guess the best thing is to start with my background, I guess where I have been and what has happened in my life until now since the rest of this blog will be the future. So, here goes!

I guess I will start with 1996, which is when this Lloyd family thing started with me. After graduation in 1996 from high school I decided I was ready to enjoy life and focus on myself and having fun. That summer I prayed to God for him to send me someone to share my life with. I laid out the qualities that I wanted in a man and prayed that if he would send him to me that I would wait for him. Needless did I know how quickly my prayers would be answered.

As the summer came and went, I started getting ready to start college at the University of Montevallo. My friend Natalie ( I call her Natty) were ready to start college together. In August, about 2 weeks before starting college, my other friend Jessica (I call her Jessi) decided to play matchmaker. She said there was a guy that she worked with that she thought we were kind of in the same place and might hit it off. So, she setup a "meet and greet" group date. So, we went to eat that night as a group of friends and I met Kevin. We had a fun dinner and all laughed and had a good time. Then after dinner the guys wanted to know if we wanted to go play Q-Zar (I guess that is how you spell it). It was across the street, so all us girls were like sure. We played for a while but of course us girls just shot each other- not realizing we weren't supposed to shoot our own team mates. Afterwards we went to Montevallo and hung out at one of Kevin's friends apartments. We finally got to talk one on one, which of  course Kevin to this day states I didn't hardly talk at all. So, I didn't make a very good impression. Honestly, neither did he. I really wasn't feeling a spark for someone that was SOOOO INTENSE at playing Q-Zar. I laugh about it everytime I think of it, but now know that is his VIDEO GAME SIDE coming out and his competitive kid nature. Well we had fun getting to know each other and Natty was moving in the dorm the next day so we decided to leave. I told Jessica that I thought he was a nice guy, but I just didn't feel any sparks.

Well here goes, college days. I start college at U of M- College of Business. Of course the only person I know at Montevallo is Natty and she is a music major. Here I go into one of my classes and know no one. I look over during class and who do I see, Kevin. He glances over at me and we both kind of wave hellos at each other. I was like, small world, someone I know. Like I said, I thought he was a nice guy, so I saw no harm in being friendly. So, the next day I move over and sit by him in class. He tells me now he was shocked that I actually came and sat beside him the next day. So starts our relationship. After getting to know each other a little and hanging out with him at the fraternity hall, he finally asked me out. We dated from September to February. Everything was so natural with us and just always felt right.

In February, for Valentine's Day, he gave me a promise ring and a few days later he proposed to me. Of course we wanted to wait and get married after we finished school, but that didn't happen. We got married September 12th, 1997 almost a year after we met and we have been together ever since. Remember the qualities that I said I asked God for earlier in a man. Well Kevin had every one of them, I was amazed.

Our marriage has seen our share of good times and a lot of bad ones too. It hasn't been an easy road at all, but we are still together and he will always be my partner through the good times and the bad. I am so grateful to be sharing my life with him.